What nobody tells you about giving birth...

My labor and delivery did not go as planned. I took the classes and thought I was prepared. God apparently had something different in store for me. Here's a list of some of the things we don't talk about nearly enough!

The Length of Labor Maybe I watch too many movies, but I assumed that your water breaks, you have contractions for some number of hours, and then it's time to push...in my head this all happened in maaaaaybe a day. I WAS SO WRONG. Labor is a unique and individual experience for every woman. It can last hours or it can last days. Apparently I was one of the lucky ones that got to experience labor for several days. I didn't know I was in the early stages of labor Sunday afternoon. Contractions seriously hit on Monday morning. I did not deliver baby until Wednesday at 4:50 pm. According to my calculations, I was in labor for roughly 60 hours (having contractions every 3-10 minutes the entire time). The worst pain I have ever felt...for 3 days straight.

The Mucous Plug and Bloody Show I personally knew I was going into labor soon. I saw parts of my mucous plug being passed every time I went to the restroom. Nobody believed me! You may or may not see your plug or Bloody Show (blood streaked mucous)...but if you do, it is a sign that labor is near!

The Bag of Waters Not every woman's bag of waters breaks naturally. And it's not always what you see on TV. I imagined water pouring onto the floor, like I was emptying a water bottle. I was "resting" between contractions at 4am on Wednesday when I felt a POP, almost like my waters were a balloon and someone stuck a needle in it. I leaked what seemed like a few ounces of liquid, and that was it. After my waters broke, the painful contractions subsided for about an hour...then came back in FULL force.

VOMIT Some women throw up during labor. I had no idea. When my contractions came back in full swing (and they were FINALLY admitting me to the hospital), I began vomiting. As if it were not bad enough that I was unable to eat the past few days...I was throwing up on top of that! I am not completely sure why this happens, but I assumed it was because the pain was so intense.

Tearing...Or Not You may or may not tear. I, thankfully, did not. However, I hear horror stories from women who have torn to various degrees and struggle postpartum. Ask to take the peri bottle home from the hospital to squeeze on yourself when you pee. It helps!

Delivering Your Placenta Once you have delivered baby, you will deliver the placenta. My doctor aided this process by massaging my belly. It's a little uncomfortable and looks/feels gross.

ALL THE TESTS They will monitor you and baby closely in the 24 hours following delivery. That means being woken up in the middle of the night, in the middle of naps, and in the middle of just about everything. Baby has to have many tests before being released from the hospital. Just remember that the poking and prodding is ensuring that they are healthy.

Poop. They will make you poop before you are released from the hospital. Make sure you take a stool softener.

Annnnd More Contractions. Yay. Our bodies are amazing. Breastfeeding will cause contractions in order to help "things" go back to normal. Just know that (as if breastfeeding wasn't difficult enough) it hurts and there will be blood.

FYI: I don't want to scare any moms-to-be with my stories. I had a difficult labor with lots of pain. Not everyone has this amount of pain!

Even as I am writing these things, I realize I forgot just how tough it was. It's funny how women forget the pains of labor! Maybe that's natures way of ensuring we procreate...because I would do it again in a heartbeat.